Before deciding on separation or divorce 

The question of separation or divorce is rarely clear cut. There are likely to be emotions and practicalities pulling you in different directions. You may be wondering whether separation is right for you because you feel lost in your relationship and unable to make positive changes. Perhaps you and your partner do not view the future in the same way and you need space to consider what you want to happen. Perhaps you simply do not love your partner anymore but are unsure whether you can trust your feelings. The uncertainty and conflicting emotions can provoke extreme distress. It is not uncommon for clients to experience a range of feelings including confusion, anxiety, depression, anger and loss. 

I can support you as you work through these thoughts and feelings, helping you move forward in a healthy and considered way. I offer a space for you to think about all those involved, including children, as well as exploring your own emotional responses before you decide on any particular course of action. Even if you are having couples counselling already, you may find you need a separate space to process what is going on and make the right decision for you. 

During the separation process

Once the decision to start separation or divorce proceedings has been made, I can help you navigate the emotional challenges you may face. Decisions will need to be made and you want to be in the best possible frame of mind to make them. The behaviour of your partner may compound your insecurities and make it difficult for you to think things through clearly. You may also have fears about your own future and the future of your children. I can help you gain insight into your emotional responses and use this to strengthen your ability to handle the emotional strain.

Beginning your new chapter 

Even when the practical and legal aspects of your relationship breakdown are over, you may struggle with your emotions and find it difficult to come to terms with your new, changed circumstances. Whatever the circumstances of your break up, you may struggle to adjust from being a couple to an individual. You may find yourself stuck in the past and unable to imagine a future - whether alone or with someone else. Counselling provides the time and space to explore these difficult feelings, come to terms with the loss of your relationship and with the right support, you will emerge stronger and more independent.